Saturday 27th of May the midwife came round in the morning to perform a scheduled sweep as I was a week and a bit over my due date. The thing is that morning I knew I was in labour as I hadn’t gotten much sleep in the night due to being severely uncomfortable, I was having contractions they were bearable and as my partner Tyler was home I didn’t want to panic him by saying anything (in hindsight maybe I should have) as he tends to flap. The midwife came and I refused the sweep as I had had some horrific examinations throughout my pregnancy and on that Saturday I could still feel the painful aftermath of the last one. I honestly felt like the consultant was reaching for my heart from my birth canal. You would think being a woman she would understand how delicate that region can be especially during pregnancy. I guess she either doesn’t have one or just has no feeling in hers. The midwife was understanding and checked me over then went through who to call and what to do if labour starts etc and went on her way. I had the intense need to sort the house out and my gosh did I. I washed up all dishes put them away cleaned the cupboards inside and out put everything back in date order, same with the fridge all the time while contractions were getting stronger and stronger. Cleaned the bathroom and the bedrooms and the lounge, I mean swept, hoovered and washed down floors, made beds put clothes away the house was looking good.  I even assembled the baby bed got it all made up with fresh sheets and a couple of cuddly friends.

I cleaned the windows too. I also washed the outside of the car cleaned and hoovered the inside and out my hospital stuff in the boot along with my camera bag. Carseat in place. Tyler was meeting his friend who had come up from Watford he was meeting him in the next village along at the pub. In the afternoon he came back to the house with his friend and had a few drinks in the garden that turned into a lot so much so I told him to stay out of my way so I could clean in peace. I was so annoyed! he kept saying how the baby isn’t coming today so it’s fine and I’m stood there contracting (he still doesn’t know this) saying I’m overdue it can happen at any time. I then got the dogs ready and took them for a walk in the fields near my house we got to the 3rd field along and the contraction were so strong I had to stop walking and wait for it to pass I called my friend in America for a casual chat and to tell her what’s up she was like get off the phone call the hospital so I did and they said to come in.

I walked back home struggling but the dogs were great I’m sure they knew something was up as they weren’t even pulling like they do sometimes. When I got home I was greeted by a passed out Tyler on the sofa, the tidy lounge littered with stuff, his friend in the garden thinking he was getting fed as my partner had attempted to start a BBQ even though the only meat we had was in the freezer. Tyler had taken some meat out the freezer and it was sat on the hob in a frozen ball while burgers were burning in the grill. I had to explain to his friend that I was in labour and leaving now to get to hospital. Feeling bad that Tyler’s friend had travelled so far but hadn’t eaten I cooked him a pizza before leaving as it was all we had if I had known he was staying over I would have done a food shop and planned something yummy for dinner. I showed him around the house so he knew where everything was. My partner couldn’t take me to the hospital as he was drunk and passed out I couldnt wake him I pushed, whacked and screamed at him but he was out.

I had nobody to take me as the neighbours had been drinking as they were having a BBQ themselves, I couldn’t get hold of my mum so was going to drive myself I called my friend Steph who came straight away as she didn’t want me driving myself but when she arrived she was all dressed up and so was her partner. Great! I had ruined their 1st date night since having their baby who was 6 months old at the time. I felt awful. She tried to wake my partner but it was a no go. She drove my car to the hospital on the way she asked me why was I so calm especially with the way everything was happening. I just knew I had to keep calm as my situation is already complicated and the baby is going to come out regardless so I might as well relax and let it all happen this was me trying to have a natural and aid that as much as possible. We got taken to an examination room where they monitored the baby and examined me but it turned out I was only 2cm dialated so I was sent home. It was just after 9pm by the time we got back we were greeted by my partners butt still on the sofa his friend had gone to bed but came down when he heard me come home. He had been so panicked about the situation. I whacked my partner with a cushion a couple of times, he’d had a good few hours sleep by the time we got back. He woke up and shouted “what you doing I’m trying to sleep”. Then my friend laid into him “do you know what’s happening? Do you know where we’ve been? You nearly missed the birth of your child?” (This is the toned down version) To which he replied “come on, come on Steph don’t be silly” “why you waking me up? I haven’t even done anything” he hadn’t clocked what was going on and was still very much intoxicated. For someone who doesn’t drink often he picked a very crap time to party hard. He stumbled to the kitchen dropping things all over the shot trying to make himself something to eat. Steph left after more encouraging words to my partner. Tyler’s friend and I watched a bit of TV as Tyler fell asleep on the sofa eating. I woke him and shimmied him upstairs to get some sleep I’m still contracting so went to bed too hoping to get sleep but was in so much pain all night I got no sleep at all. I was in and out of bed walking around the house, on all fours rocking back and fourth, up leaning on the headboard he was sparko. Tyler woke up in the morning all chirpy oblivious of the events of the day before. I was not happy and very sleep deprived. I went downstairs about 8am giving up on any chance of sleep. We said goodbye to Tyler’s friend I went into the kitchen and started making myself a bowl of cereal but when I got the milk out the fridge there was a strange feeling and I knew to move my feet out the way. My waters gushed out like a scene from a movie it was clear which was great. I carried on making my breakfast and ate as much as I could because my last Labour they wouldn’t let me eat anything and I’m quite the hangry person. After breakfast we called the hospital they said to come in so we did. Tyler drove dropped me off at the hospital made sure everything was sorted before parking the car somewhere free. I was hooked up to monitors and stuck in one position I was so uncomfortable. They put in a cannula which I hate they just hurt so much and mine kept drawing blood. I was fed hospital meals of overcooked veg and dry meat which was an upgrade from the nothing I received during my daughter’s labour 16 years prior.

My waters kept gushing and gushing all day it was so gross I was told that it was my mind waters that had gone not my actual waters which were intact. My mum came to the hospital stayed a while but left as she realised this time was very different from the first I had my partner there with me. We got moved into a smaller room as nothing was progressing but I still needed to be monitored. Tyler stayed with me throughout we watched a few films on the hospital TV. He slept on the chair next to the bed as he wasn’t allowed to share the bed with me. 

 

I was induced on the Sunday at 10pm but this stopped everything I had no pain nothing. I attempted to get some sleep as I knew what was coming was going to be extremely tiring mentally and physically, I finally managed 4 hours sleep I was moved to a delivery suite in the morning and induced about 8.30am after that the contractions were coming thick and fast. I was doing well breathing through each contraction then it got to a certain point and the midwife suggested gas and air I refused at first wanting to go natural then the pain was unbearable so took up her kind offer. The pain felt different there was a shift but I carried on then the pain was there and not going away there was no gap just an intensifying pain and a feeling that something was wrong. I could feel the baby corkscrewing downwards but going back up. Turns out this was because The baby’s shoulder was stuck on a fibroid they just couldn’t push past it. The baby’s heartbeat was dipping dangerously low and looked in distress so they decided on an emergency C-section. This was frustrating and annoying because I was booked in for one due to having fibroids but the consultant thought I was doing so well he’d cancel it and allow the baby to come naturally. I was so very scared of being cut open I just kept thinking I was going to bleed out on the table and never get to meet my baby leaving Tyler alone to be a single dad. I thought this as it was said that it would be a good possibility because of the increased blood supply to my uterus due to the fibroids. The surgery wasn’t too bad the staff was great and the woman who sat next to me explaining everything just before it happened was spot on with the manner and way she described everything. Tyler was on my right side all scrubbed up holding my hand he didn’t want to see what was happening so we had the curtain up. I really wanted to see my baby come out and I was curious to see it all happen before my eyes but I didn’t want Tyler passing out or vomiting so no live surgery show for Cleo. The anaesthetist was brilliant and key to me not freaking out she talked me through every part of the surgery explaining what was coming up and how it would feel. It was so surreal having someone touching my organs, it felt like I was receiving heart compressions at some points. I felt an affinity towards chickens I had seasoned and roasted as that’s how it felt like the surgeon was separating my skin from my muscle in order to stuff me with herby butter. During the procedure I knew something was wrong because the talk from the surgeons went from simple to technical, the baby was stuck on the fibroid and they were having great difficulty getting the baby out but they did it eventually.

Tyler and I had joked that the baby would have a deep cry because he has such a deep voice. When the baby was born he did indeed have a deep cry he gave two great WAH WAH! Was expecting a little alright treacle? Afterwards. Tyler’s eyes welled up he got so excited and emotional it became very real. He went off to be with the baby came back and said “here’s your son we’ve got a son” then got ushered off to the other room. I was being stitched up but suddenly felt very cold and faint and told the woman who said “you should be fine now its all over” then I said “No something is not right I feel very weak and woozy” it turned out I was bleeding out on the table and they were trying to stop it. It was such an awful feeling I felt that if I closed my eyes it was game over so had to fight that feeling. The doctors did a wonderful job 45minutes later I finally got to see and hold my baby boy the baby who was born sucking his fingers, the baby I was told I couldn’t have, the baby my partner kept talking about before he was conceived. He latched on my breast like his life depended on it, I guess it kinda did. He had so much hair it was so thick and black his skin so pale and covered in milk spots. He was my perfect little boy. While I attempted to feed the baby they were bumping the blood I lost back into me. The midwife asked what his name was and Tyler said Albert but we can call him Albie I looked at the baby and said “No no no that’s not his name” the midwife asked what is his name then?” And I said with complete certainty “Hendrix” and Tyler looked at me and said shocked “Really?, I like that” he said really because his middle names are after people who are very dear to him. 

I am so glad we didn’t find out the sex of the baby as that moment was so special plus I’m struggling to think of any other truly incredible surprises in life now we pretty much know most things now so it was really nice not knowing.

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